too good to be good for me, too bad that that's all I need
by moriartyscupoftea
Summary: In which Simon and Raphael go and meet Raphael's (bitter ex) old friend, and Simon realizes some things.
**A/N: Fun fact, _Ambrogino_ apparently means 'my little immortal' in Italian (but if you actually speak Italian you can yell at me if that's totally wrong). Anyway, there weren't enough saphael fics, and I wanted to write something that's not dark and dramatic, so. Here we are. The only dark and dramatic thing in this fic is Raphael's eyebrows.**

 **Oh and Simon's a daylighter in this, which is how I excuse many of my plot points. That's all, enjoy!**

 **Wait no also, title taken from Troye Sivan's " _Too Good_ ". And while we're talking about music, even though Simon talks shit about _Modern Talking_ and _Survivor_ , I love both of those bands.**

 **...**

Simon hadn't been, in any way or form, even the slightest bit ready for this. Theoretically, to him, being a vampire had sounded like a great concept before. Emphasis on _theoretically_ and _concept_. But as it was with many things, what _sounded_ good was often, well. _Too_ good to be actually good. Like the prequels. The only actually good thing to come out of them for Simon was six hours of Ewan McGregor flailing around with a lightsaber.

Simon sighed, the mental image now stuck in his mind. Clary lifted her head, still stirring her coffee, and raised a brow. Simon was reminded of Raphael's habit of raising _his_ brows seemingly everytime Simon as much as opened his mouth. Which was the last thing he wanted on his mind right now. Simon sighed again, trying to think about Anakin in Revenge of the Jedi instead. "Are you alright?" Clary asked, now taking a sip of her coffee as Simon watched on miserably. He missed coffee. "Yeah," he mumbled. "There's just... There's a lot of stuff. In my head." Clary frowned. "You know," Simon added, and the look Clary gave him indicated that she truly didn't, in fact, _know_. "Like, the whole ' _I'm a vampire_ ' thing?" Clary's eyes softened. She put her coffee down, and Simon wondered if other vampires ever felt the urge to cry over a cup of cappuccino. Probably not.

"I know it must be difficult for you, Simon. But at least you have Raphael to help you out, right?" Simon nodded absently, thoughts drifting back to said person. Raphael had been helpful, indeed. Raphael with his great eyebrows, and great sense of fashion, and truly _horrid_ sense of music. Not that Simon would _ever_ admit that he thought Raphael had a good sense of fashion. The fact that he'd already once complimented his coat had been too much. Even if he'd later laughed at his CD collection. "Yeah," he said out loud. "Yeah, sure, he's been, um. Very helpful." Simon frowned, suddenly remembering something. "Did you know he's never seen _Twilight_? I thought that must be like a _thing_ in the vampire circles, to ironically watch every vampire movie and laugh at them, but it's not."

Clary seemed more interested in her phone than hearing about Raphael's lack of cultural education, rapidly typing something with her cappuccino now forgotten. Simon's soul - did he have a soul anymore? - cried out for the lost opportunity. "I'm sorry, Simon, I gotta dash," Clary said and grabbed her bag. "Jace is... Something's come up, I gotta go. I'll call you later!" She yelled over her shoulder as she left. _What a surprise_ , he thought, but it wasn't with the familiar bitter undertone anymore. Simon was happy for her, really. Jace seemed like a douche, but maybe there was some kind of hidden, soft side to him. Kind of like how Raphael, despite his creepy exterior, kept a _Modern Talking_ album in his room. Simon was never going to let him live that down.

 **...**

Living in Hotel DuMort wasn't, at the end of the day, the _worst_ thing ever. He had his own room, which was now filled with his own things Raphael had helped him to drag over (he'd mocked every single piece of merchandise Simon owned and had deemed important enough to import to his new place of residence, which Simon thought was a bit rich coming from a man who owned an _Essential Survivor_ album). He got to be alone a lot, what with most of the other vampires' feelings towards him ranging from 'passive hatred' to 'actively hostile'. He saw Raphael a lot, and Simon wasn't sure whether that was a positive thing or not. Probably not. It _shouldn't_ be.

The only thing he didn't like was that there was _absolutely nothing to do_. Which was how Simon found himself re-arranging the comics on his shelf, _again_ , this time in alphabetical order. Maybe next time he'd color code them.

A knock on the door interrupted him in the middle of moving his Darth Maul figure from his desk to the shelf. "Who is it?" Simon yelled out. Instead of a reply the door opened and Raphael strode in, only to be stopped dead as he glanced at Simon. "What's _that_?" He asked, disapprovement filling his voice as he pointed and the figure Simon was still cluthing in his hand. Simon blinked. "It's, um. It's Darth Maul. From Star Wars." Raphael continued to look disappointed. "It's a movie franchise, created by-" Simon continued, but Raphael interrupted, annoyed. "I _know_ what Star Wars is, fledling." Simon raised his brows. "You do?" Raphael frowned. "It's not why I'm here." Somehow, even though most of the things coming out of Raphael's mouth sounded like lines from shitty movies, Simon didn't mind all that much. "I mean, you're the one who brought it up, not me," Simon said in his defense. Raphael rolled his eyes, pushing the door shut and sitting down on the one chair in Simon's room.

"I need you to do me a favor," he started, and for the first time ever, Simon thought he might've looked uncomfortable. "I am not going to go and buy you garlic bread from the Italian place down the street," Simon replied. Maybe he should cut down on the sarcastic comebacks. Then again, Simon was a _vampire_ , and that in itself already made Simon's whole life even more of a joke than it'd been, so. He figured he was allowed to keep annoying Raphael.

"I wasn't-" Raphael sighed, closing his eyes and pressing the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger as if to drive away a headache. Simon wondered if vampires could get headaches. If they did, he was sure SImon's continuing existence was a constant source of pain for Raphael. "I'm going away to meet my- an important vampire. And I need someone to come with me to make sure I come back," Raphael said, now staring at Simon expectantly. Simon was confused. "And you told me this because...?" He asked, taking a few steps back to finally place Darth Maul on the shelf next to his _Star Wars Original Trilogy: Special Edition_ set. Raphael's eyes followed his movements, making Simon feel nervous. Although to be fair, most of the things Raphael did made Simon feel nervous.

"Because I want you to come with me," Raphael admitted, probably aiming for casual, but to Simon he sounded embarrassed and anxious. Simon was, if possible, even more confused. "Why would you want me there? I'm not very good at this, this _vampire_ thing yet, if you haven't noticed." Raphael mumbled something under his breath, which sounded suspiciously like ' _how could I have missed that'_. "Don't question me," he replied, dodging the question. He stood up and Simon very nearly grabbed his lightsaber in a reflex, ready to protect himself. Raphael raised a brow. "Your arm is twitchy. Is that some kind of condition I don't know of?" Simon frowned. Raphael smirked. "I'll come get you tomorrow," he said and the door fell shut behind him.

 **...**

"You still haven't told me who we're going to meet," Simon said as they made their way through the city the following night. He couldn't see Raphael's face, but somehow was convinced that he was rolling his eyes again. "His name's Costello, and I need to discuss some terms with him," Raphael replied. "He's been getting too much attention among the mundanes near our area." There was a small pause. " _Again._ " Simon picked up his pace to keep up with Raphael's marching. "Uh-huh. And, um, how do you know him? 'Cause it sounds like you know him," Simon asked and then hoped Raphael wouldn't put a stake through his heart for probing too much.

He didn't, but he _did_ turn around to glare at Simon, who merely smiled at him in a way that he hoped looked innocent enough. "He's been my friend for a few decades. I met him in Italy when I was traveling around in the eighties." Simon snorted. "Is that where you got all of your CD's from?" He blurted out, and when Raphael didn't deem it a question worth answering, Simon asked, "So, you've known this Costello for years. And you're just _friends_ , huh?" This time Raphael stopped, causing Simon to almost crash into him. He took a deep breath, turning to face Simon. "Fine. We were together. At one point. A _long_ time ago. I don't want to talk about it, and I don't want you to bring it up in any way while we're visiting him. _¿Bien?_ " Simon nodded, smiling. "Yeah, sure. Alright."

By the time they arrived at Castello's house, Simon was getting nervous. The house itself was pretty normal looking, considering it was owned by an old, Italian vampire. Simon had expected some kind of a Gothic dream house with tombstones on the front yard, but this could've easily been his mom's house. Raphael knocked on the door. Simon glanced at him from the corner of his eye. Raphael was biting his lower lip and he kept fiddling with his cufflinks, which was probably the most emotion Simon had ever seen him show. This did nothing to ease Simon.

The door opened, revealing a man holding a glass of... _probably_ not wine in his hand. He didn't seem shocked too see Raphael there, but raised his brows at Simon. _Another one_ , Simon thought darkly. "Ambrogino," Raphael said coldly. "Raphael Santiago," the man - Ambrogino? - replied. His voice was unfairly silky. Simon wondered if he'd suddenly turn gorgeous and sound good after being a vampire for a while as well. "And who's _this_?" Ambrogino inquired, and looked at Simon like he was a bug at the bottom of his shoe. Simon smiled at him brightly. Raphael coughed. "This is Simon Lewis, a... friend. Recently turned," he said just as Simon was about to answer for himself. Ambrogino hummed, clearly disinterested. "Well, come in then," he said, pointing his glass towards the main hall and moving aside to let Simon and Raphael pass.

The whole ordeal was, in two words, extremely uncomfortable. Simon found himself wishing many times that he had never asked Raphael about his dating history, because that knowledge made everything worse. Ambrogino kept throwing bitter remarks to Raphael about "the events of Genoa" (from what Simon gathered, Raphael had done something remarkably bad), and Raphael kept reminding him to "take a minute to recall what happened in Washington", all while sitting next to Simon and leaning closer to him everytime Ambrogino mentioned Genoa (which was a lot). By the time the two had finally come to an agreement about how much distance Ambrogino had to keep, Simon was prepared to give up all of his vintage Pokemon cards just to be able to _leave_.

Ambrogino saw them off, slamming the door shut the second Simon stepped off the porch. Raphael looked like he was tempted to show the door his middle finger, but Simon figured that maybe that was just him, and that Raphael was probably better than that anyway. They made their way back in silence, until Simon decided that an awkward conversation was inevitable in any case. "So that was awful," he said casually, and then mentally slapped himself because _wow, what and icebreaker, Lewis_. Raphael gave a short laugh, which would've made Simon's heart flutter, had he still had a beating heart. "Awful, but necessary," Raphael said, smiling. Simon found Raphael's smile too distracting.

And since _when_ did he find Raphael's smile _distracting_? Now that Simon thought about it, it made a lot of sense. "Huh," he said out loud. _I have a crush. On Raphael_. Said person raised a brow at him. "What?" He asked, stopping. Simon realized they were close to DuMort, now. "Um," he replied eloquently. "I, uh, nothing. I said nothing." Raphael's brow climbed, if possible, even higher towards his hairline. "Simon. We just talked to _my ex_ for hour and a half. Can you just tell me what's on your mind?"

Simon sighed. "Well, I dont... Look, I thought you were an asshole, right? And you _are_ , don't get me wrong, but um. Apparently you're not _that_ bad, really? I mean, your clothes are nice and you supposedly know about Star Wars, and even though your taste in music is fucking _horrible_ , I, uh, I like you. Okay? I didn't really think about it before, but now I started thinking about it, and I think that I'll probably start _overthinking_ it soon, and-"

Raphael interrupted him by pressing his lips against Simon's, who's brain short-circuited to a full stop. He barely registered that Raphael smelled very nice, and that his lips were surprisingly soft, and that his hands came to rest on Simon's waist as he stepped closer. When they pulled apart, Simon blinked rapidly at a sheepish looking Raphael. "That was a bit forward," he managed to breath out, before his face broke into a grin. "Do it again."

 **...**

 **One [1] New Message:** _ **Clary3 [02:33]**_ _sooo how are you doing? how'd the important vampire mission go?_

 _ **Simon [03:41]**_ _I think I'm dating Raphael now?_

 _ **Clary3**_ _ **[03:44]**_ _that well? when's the wedding?_

 _ **Simon [03:46]**_ _Please don't._

 _ **Clary3 [03:47]**_ _just kidding. but srsly i'm happy for u. took u long enough_

 _ **Simon [03:50]**_ _Hello Fray. Simon's a bit busy right now, but he'll text you back later. Br., Raphael Santiago_

"Hey, you can't do that!" Simon protested as Raphael threw his phone to the floor. "I can. I just did." He smirked. "Now, please tell me again how shitty my CD collection is?" Simon rolled his eyes. "That's not fair." "How is it not fair?" "Because it's true."

 **...**

"What's that?" Clary asked, pointing at Simon's neck. "Nothing," he mumbled, thankful that he couldn't blush anymore. He wrapped his scarf tighter over the bite marks. "Absolutely nothing."


End file.
